


Seashells

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AUs, Accidents, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Death, Depression, Dimensions, Drama, Dreams, Fluff, Genderbending, Girl Armin, Levi cross-dressing, Merchant of Venice, MikasaxLevi, Minor Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover, Multi, Reincarnation, Romance, Suicide, There will be action, a bit of yaoi, a lot of dreaming, arminxerwin, boy mikasa, cross-dressing, erenxlevi - Freeform, erenxmikasa, erin and levi has a secret place, friends - Freeform, girl eren, hell yeah, i guess, levixeren - Freeform, many of it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-03 01:15:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5271083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The only one I like is you. Only you in the whole world. But of all the you's I've met, I don't know who'll I choose. This will be our secret. Only us in all worlds. In all worlds, it will always be you. I love you. Therefore, don't die. Don't you dare die Eren Jaeger, Erin Jaeger, Eren Yeager, whoever you call yourself, brat. Please, please don't die. Don't forget me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An annoying day

"You're not even a good person, you are worthless, after all these years I took care of you, this is all you're gonna pay?! Screw you! Get out of my sight you emotionless scumbag," my auntie said just right after she slapped my face. Ugh, it hurts so bad, you aren't a good person yourself, dumb aunt.

I woke up with the same dream. At the best of the best friends I have, Erwin's beach house. It's located in the famous, Wall Island, where so much people everyday took their vacations making workers here busy, and we're one of those who kept them busy. It's been a week since I arrived here and I still haven't set a foot to walk on the nasty sand outside. Erwin kept on telling me to try to move on and forget about the happenings in the city but I just can't. The pain was still fresh in my heart, if it's a wound; it is still far from healing. It's not even clotting.

 

I angered the world and became this man because of her, my auntie. She's strict. A horrible guardian, who treats me like a slave and feeds me like her pet. Wait, is she even a guardian? She's outrageous. Since my parents died ages ago because of cancer, she took care of me. I was 12 back then. She would send me to school and we go to restaurants since we have lots of money, but uncle died and that's when it started.

 

She started to hit me, kick me, and threaten to kill me every time she feels like it. I was full of bruises and scratches, I started to lack expression and I began to feel...nothing. Nothing but hatred. I put it all in me for 14 years. All that hardships, all those kicks, living like I'm in hell, depression, all of it. I started to think why am I even here if I have friends with me. And so that's why I am here, to cool my mind. Since Erwin was busy preparing our meal, I decided to sneak outside for a walk. Wearing my jacket and my beach shorts, I went near the forest and stroll around.

 

Just after a few minutes I feel something on the back of my neck. Hands of a terrifying creature, its sharp freakin' hands, and feet. I could imagine it looking so evil, so dirty. A cockroach. And it IS crawling down my back.

"Ahhhh, shit, shit, shit, shit!!!" Thank God nobody was seeing this.

 

"Fuck off you stupid cockroach!" I shouted and screamed and tried to get it off me, I got my jacket off and shirt just so it wouldn't get on it. I ran to...I don't know, but I just went straight ahead. It will be a shame to go to the beach now, people might see me freaking out because of a cockroach. What can I do? That's one of my fears. "Ahhh, Waaaaahhh, just get off me!!! Aaaahhhh-" I stopped, where am I? Nobody is around, this is perfect. “You cockro...ach?” It's gone.

 

“That was one hell of a cockroach,” I looked in disgust as I dust off my shorts and wear my jacket. Good thing is, I found a new place in this beach resort. Far away from people, quiet and the waves of the ocean’s the only thing you’ll hear.

          There is a big stone. When you get up at its top, you’ll get a good view of the clear water. I took of my slippers and climb up of it. There are a lot of seashells around. Orange, yellow, white, orange, orange, yellow, violet, pinkish white, white, orange and white, orange, peach, yellow, white, brown, brown, orange. I scan through for more in hope that I’ll find something like…pearl, like in some movies. What caught my attention was a spark from the shore. I quickly get down of the stone in excitement and curiosity and ran to its direction but when I got there, all I felt was disappointment. It was a mirror. A broken mirror.

          _Am I cursed or something?_ I thought for a second and then I realized, I am.

_Got beaten up by a cockroach, got lost in the forest, got annoyed y the dirty sand and now this? I got excited for a mirror? Seriously?_

          “Screw this,” I whispered, feeling how miserable am I right now. I threw the mirror. I walked back to the stone, not so far. I could see it already when I felt great pain from my toes. I stepped on something sharp. “Fuuuuuucccckkk,” I screamed, hugging my toes and checking it, I forgot my slippers by the stone. _Really now._ When I looked at where I stepped on, I saw a bluish grey shell, a beautiful one. But I DON’T CARE. Since no one’s around, “Listen you little shit, don’t you screw with me, understand? I’ve gone to so many things and I didn’t want anyone or anything to make me EVEN mad!” I shouted, thinking that the shell will reply. And again, since no one’s around, I’ll pretend that it’s my aunt. “And you aunt of mine, the hell was that? You let me out of the good side, now look at me! This is what you want, right? You want me like this, right?” My tears are now on the verge of falling down. “Then FINE!” I feel so sorry for myself, I pity myself. And this shell, “What about you? Why are you so beautiful despite how cruel our world is? Anything beautiful doesn’t deserve to live in an ugly world,” I know I look crazy, for talking to a shell. Even though it’s the first time I saw this color, I guess it deserves to be lost for pinning my toes and sink peacefully into the deep. “Goodbye, shell” I lift it up, ready to throw it as far as I could when someone from my back interrupted me.

“Hi,” a soft voice, a ‘she’. My goodness, _DAMN,_ one bad thing after the other. I thought I could spend a time alone without annoying people around.

“What?”  I decided to look at her. Average height, weight I guess and you-know-what . Emerald-like eyes, its dazzling. A brunette, wavy, medium length hair. Probably passing her shoulders and tied in a half  ponytail, giving me a better look at her bangs that reaches her brown and thick eyebrows, nearly covering her eyes. Her eyes shines even because of her toned skin, she has thin pinkish lips. She flashed a smile.

“ What it is you’re hiding, Sir?” she asked nicely

“None of your business, Miss. What are you doing here?” I guess I’m not in the mood to play nice. “Go away from here” I realized I hid my hands holding the shell in the front pocket of my jacket.

“Sorry, I can’t do that sir, I’m just collecting seashells,” She paused, “May I ask you something, Sir?” I looked back at her. The cold breeze from the waves of the ocean’s making me feel sad.

“Sir-”

“Quit being formal, thanks” _She’s annoying_

“Okay,” she breathe in deep and walk to my direction, “why are you shouting just a while ago? You know… I kinda umm… heard all of it,” I furrowed my eyebrows, now I‘m even more annoyed. “D-don’t worry, I’ll never tell anyone, and besides we won’t see each other again,” she smiled sheepishly.

“Just mad, that’s all, now go back to what you’re doing,” I commanded her.

“O-okay” she faced her back, look at me and at her back again. “What an asshole, I’m just worried he’s depressed, he didn’t even have manners,” I heard her whisper.

“I’m sorry. Did you say something?” 

“N.O.T.H.I.N.G, I said I hope you cool off that burning head of yours,” she waved as she walks slowly. She’s carrying a pail full of shells, just like the colors I saw the moment before.

“What are you gonna do with those ugly shells?” I screamed at her and she quickly replied, “For my hobby!”

Just like that, she’s gone.

_What an annoying day._


	2. Erin

Finally, I'm able to go back to the house. Erwin is amazing. He has so much money to build this beach house, I mean, it is not that big and its appearance outside was like crap but when you open the door and see the inside, it is cool. I'm a fan of the modern world. All I could see inside were black, red, white and brown furniture and other shits. Approximately, I think six people might fit in here. It has a master's bedroom and two guest rooms, but not that big. He was still preparing breakfast. He didn't notice that I got outside. I changed my clothes so that he won't notice how messy I was. I put on some beach shorts and umm... I'm too lazy to put on some top so I guess I'll go topless today, since I'm not going anywhere.

 

"Good morning, big man. What's that you're cooking?" I acted like I just woke up and feigning yawn.

 

"Morning Levi, it's omelets," the doorbell rang and someone just knocked on the door.

 

"Mr. Smith? Mr. Smith!"

 

"Levi, would you please open the door, I'm busy here you know,"

 

"Yeah, right," I opened the door to see a girl with blonde hair standing in front of me holding some kind of souvenir. Her blue eyes are checking me. I can feel it. From head to toe.

 

"Hi, sir!" she said and calling her friend, well, I didn't quite hear the name, I don't really care though. "Hey, don't be shy! Come here!" her friend came and she's familiar.

 

"Hi Mr. Smith-" she paused and did the same scanning her friend did to me. "Ahhhhhhhh!" she screamed. And she continued. So long. So noisy. No doubt, it's her. From earlier, Miss 'A', 'A' for average and annoying. I thought we'll never meet again, brat.

 

"Excuse me, but what is your friend doing?"

 

"Probably shocked seeing a man half naked in front of her," yeah, she is still screaming.

 

"Huh? Isn't she supposed to be used to seeing a man half naked? I mean this is a freaking beach," I heard her chuckle and her company still screaming

 

"Heh. That is a fact but this is the first time she saw a man's body up close, she is usually at home and watch customers enjoy their vacation" she crossed her arms and looked at me, "well, you're pretty hot, I say. But Mr. Smith is even more, for me." she smirked, "by the way sir," she gave the junk to me. "Will you please give this to Mr. Smith?"

 

"Yes, I will, thank you for this," _so noisy, ugh_ "would you mind if you take that friend of yours away from this house? Because she is getting into my nerves, you can leave now."

 

"Thank you sir," they leaved. They are pretty funny and a lot weird. "Erwin, somebody sent you something," Erwin has already finished making his omelet. He get the thing and he got a paper from it. He is smirking while reading it.

 

"Hey, what does it says?"

 

"You are coming with me tonight to a beach party of resort owner."

 

"Give me a break, Erwin" I complained, this is absurd.

 

"You, are coming with me, you have to meet my few good friends here, all you know was Hanji, Petra and Mike. Time to make new acquaintances. Move forward, Levi. I keep on telling you that."

 

"Yeah, okay I'll go. What a drag."

**~~~**

Tonight, I'm wearing a button down and my usual beach shorts and slippers. The sand might get my clean sandals dirty, and besides it's just an event, nothing special. Erwin, on the other hand, was wearing a V-neck shirt that matches well with his shorts and sandals. I saw Hanji and Petra enjoying themselves with some vodka and Mike hitting on chicks. Erwin, as usual, talks smart and talks about business or anything related to it, since his into business management. He is talking to the owner of the resort, Mr. Reiss with her daughter and a company.

 

"Mr. Reiss," Erwin pulled me beside him and introduced me, "This is Levi Ackerman, my great friend, umm, Levi this is Mr. Reiss, the owner of this resort and her daughter," I shook his hand,

 

"I am Historia Reiss, sir, pleasure to meet you two," she greeted us with the warmest smile and we smiled back. But the brown haired freckled woman at her back stepped a little forward and introduced herself.

 

"I am Ymir, nice to meet you, I'm her close friend and guardian," her eyes were fierce and piercing into mine so I go somewhere else and made an excuse,

 

"Erwin, I'm drinking" he let me be.

~~~

It is almost two hours that I've been drinking with Hanji but Erwin was still not finished.

"This is boring" I muttered

"Eh? Levi? You sayin' something?" Hanji lazily said. She was drunk. And she's still drinking. What an idiot.

"Shut up, shitty glasses"

 

This is so boring. I don’t even know anyone here. I’m about to close my eyes when

Erwin suddenly called me. His gestures are saying “come here, Levi I have someone I want you to meet” or something like that.

“Levi, this is Mr. and Mrs. Jaeger, they are good friends of mine,” Mrs. Jaeger is beautiful. And I think Mr. Jaeger is wonderful too. “Levi here, Sir and Mrs. Jaeger,” They smiled as I shook their hands. “By the way Mr. Jaeger, where is your daughter?” Erwin asked as he drinks his soda in a can.

“Yeah, I’m also wondering where that child go, Oh that stubborn child, I told her to come here to see you as we give our gratitude,” Mrs. Jaeger said as she looked down and back to Erwin’s face.

“Perhaps she’s shy of Erwin, because he’s a really big man?” Erwin glared at me and I rolled my eyes to talk to Mrs. Jaeger. She laughed at what I said.

“Levi, you’re a funny guy,” she said and her husband laughed with her.

"Her name is Eren? Am I right, Mr. Jaeger?" Erwin said looking intently at him. Mr. Jaeger drank the last gulp of his drink.

 

"Actually you are mistaken, it's Erin not Eren" he smirked an evil smirked. But then the mood changed when Mrs. Jaeger open up about something.

 

"Yes, she has been really weird since the accident," she told us, Erwin wasn't quite shocked, he seems calm, but what does she mean açcident? "Eh, what do I expect from a girl with amnesia? So please Levi, whenever you see her, don't tell her anything of what I said okay?"

 

"Understood Mrs. Jaeger," and so I saw Hanji with Petra and Mike and they are all drunk so I used them as an excuse so I can get out of too much adult talk. But still, I pity Erin.

“Mr. Smith, did you receive the new souvenir we brought for you, I asked her to give it to you since I’m busy,”

_Yeah, the two girls. Ms. ‘A’ and Ms. ‘S’, for sweet and sarcastic?_

“Yes, Levi was the one who got it, and he gave it to me,” replied Erwin

“Yes, that’s a bunch of souvenir,” I really need to get out of here. “Excuse me, but would you mind if I go with my colleagues?” They nodded.

 

~~~~

I ended up going alone in the forest I have been this morning. It's so dark, I barely see a thing. I don't have a flashlight to begin with. I don't want any of those cockroaches touch me again. Well, they are really dirty, I hate them so much that I fear them.

 

Finally, I reached my destination. Before I could even lay my feet down the wet sand, I heard a humming and it's creepy. _A white lady?_ Of course not. But she is wearing white off-shoulder top with lace and a long silky skirt which reaches her feet and that waves as the wind blew it. It was beautiful. What makes it beautiful was the moonlight that covers the side of her face as her hand rests at the side of the big stone. I noticed she wasn't wearing slippers. All I could hear was the waves of the ocean and her humming. I couldn't catch a glance of her face. I barely see half.

 

_Okay, she was humming, and wearing beautiful outfit, and she is looking at the moon with no slippers. A fairy perhaps?_

As the clouds cover the moon, Our surrounding began to be dark. The moon was gone. And she was also gone. All I could see was black. But then, a hand snake through the back of my neck, it gave me goose bumps. It was her and she was holding her phone that lights her face.

 

“You?” she questioned me.

 

“Who the hell are you?”

 

“I’m from the morning, the one collecting shells, can’t remember me?”

 

“Yes, I remember,” _what the heck is she doing here again?_

“What are you doing here?” she asked me again

 

“Well, I just like this place, its peaceful here.” she grabbed my wrist and pulled me, “Come with me, I’m Erin by the way,” she said softly. _I thought she was a tomboy. So she has a girly side, huh?_


	3. HER

_Okay, I have no idea where we are going._

We were still running when she suddenly stopped. Gasping for air, she let go of me and open her arms wide as she smiles.

 

"What? Wanna hug?"

 

"Excuse me," she rolled her eyes but the smile on her face was still there. "Ehem, ummm, Welcome to 'Le Maria'"

 

"What? Maria? This was on the guide book, isn't it?" this area was awesome. She asked me to stand on the log there, to make sure I see the moon cause the tree is covering it, I'll let it pass, what a brave woman, how dare her criticize my height.

 

"No," she chuckled, "In fact, nobody knows this place except me," I furrowed my eyebrows, confused. Then why did she tell me? Maybe she is kidding.

 

"Cut the crap kid, if you are the only one who knew this place, then why did tell me, you barely knew me," she laughed, covering her mouth. " Really, just cut it out, kid"

 

"No. I'm not kidding." her face turned serious.

 

"Then why did you told me about this place? Somebody besides you must knew this place, perhaps a friend of yours knew about this."

 

"I...I just don't know." She looked up at the bright moon. "Maybe because I feel the same as you,"

 

Woah. This shitty conversation's getting interesting.

"What is the same about us, I don't even know you. Tch."

"Haha. What are you, a kid?" she brightly exclaimed in a high pitched tone. "You're seriously funny, okay. First, I am gonna introduce myself." she cleared her throat and began to talk. “My name is Erin Jaeger" That first sentence gave me a shock. Just what the fuck. Well, I blame myself for not noticing that she has her mother's face. I'm an idiot for that. But why isn't she as beautiful as her mother?

 

"I have amnesia a few years back, when I woke up at the hospital, I feel...bored. You know, having no memories at all really affected my life. Starting that day I collected shells amd I don't know why so I do different sorts of things to them," she sat on the log I was standing on, she grabbed the piece of stem and began to draw an eye. A deep eye.

 

"What's that you're drawing?"

 

"Isn't obvious? It's an eye, dumbo"

 

"Well, you're probably dumber, going back, what made us the same?"

 

She sat straight up and tell me, "Probably the way we see the world. How unfair it is and how cruel it is. I guess I could feel how you're feeling. Wait, you didn't introduce yourself!" pouted Erin, pointing the stick at me. "Tell me about yourself and how did you find my place." she brightened up and sat in front of me while I bend down even to sit. She looks excited.

 

"I'm Levi. Just... Levi. You know my story because you eavesdrop right? So I'll proceed, I got here because I got lost in the forest while running my brain out. Happy?" she nodded and asked me how old am I. "I am already 20" her jaw dropped and her face looked like she saw a ghost. "What? You, how about you?"

 

"I'm seventeen and I'm in the first year of college next year. This year is my last year in senior high, I'll miss it." Our silence became awkward so I started a conversation.

 

"Why didn't you attend your parent's party? They are worried."

 

"Hmmm, so you've already met them huh? I can't tell the answer to your question but shall we head back? The party is gonna finish soon," she said as she stand up and grabbed parts of her dress to lift it up.

 

"Yes please,"

~~~

ERIN

 

I wasn't able to go there because of him. I saw him talking to mom and dad. I'm just embarrassed of what I've done today, so many things happened. All of the embarrassment involves him, too. When he saw me at my place, I was so shocked and I don't know what to do so I grabbed him to Maria. When we were walking back to the party he asked me things like, why did I scream a while ago when I saw him. I answered him saying, "Oh, because I was seeing a man's body." I haven't seen one. One that is so sexy. I ran away with a red face. Eight packed abs was amazing. I'm really surprised because he doesn't look like that when wearing his jacket. His face was as emotionless as a wall. But I can see him through. I can see it in his grayish eyes. His raven black hair looks smooth too and, what I like about him the most is that, he is sarcastic. That way, he's funny. I don’t know but I am really attracted to him

 

"Sorry, for all that happened today and yeah...I'm really sorry" I bowed my head and fold my hands while doing so.

 

"Yeah, it's okay." He came running to Mr. Erwin Smith. There are only a few people left. They went home, I could see the height difference between the two of them. He's really short, which made him even cute. I would love to be his friend. If I did that, it will be a great achievement since I haven't made friends except for my older brother Mikasa and my friend Armin. The two of them were the best. Of course my parents too are the best but, I can't be open with them. Mr. Erwin is kind too, though he looks scary at times but I can manage.

 

When I got home, as expected they lectured me. But as a good child, I won't say a thing. Sometimes, remaining silent is the best way to make an argument end without making it bigger. I slept with my mind full of Levi. Though I thought at first that he has no manners in talking, I think he is a man with a good personality.

 

LEVI

Today, Erwin asked me to buy some things at Erin's parents shop. The shop was just a few feet to their house. It’s full of goods and there is a souvenir corner. I bought what he asked me to buy, a condensed milk for his dessert, their dessert. He will be fishing together with Hanji and the rest of the gang.

 

"Here is your change, sir" The man with black tied hair said. "By the way sir, are you new here, cause I haven't seen you ?"

 

"Yes, I am, if you'll excuse me, I shall go" he put on a fake smile and bowed. Tch. What z brat.

 

"Yeah, have a nice day"

~~~~

It was really hot. Erwin and the others are getting ready for their fishing. Hanji was carrying a box full of cooking equipment. I saw Mike carrying pails of bait and Erwin was checking whether the rods are working.

 

"Levi, at last, did you bought it?" he asked as he test the equipment. I nodded at his question and gave it to him. "Thanks, well we're leaving, we will go back after a day or two, I put you in charge of the house and I invited someone to help you in the house since you can't cook. Erin will stay at the guest room and Armin will work part time, take care!" He left. Just like that.

 

Wait, did he say 'Erin' ? The fuck. This will be troublesome. And who the heck is 'Armin' ?

"WELCOME HOME!" somebody shouted and it was Ms. S, so she is Armin, huh? I saw Erin sautéing some onions and garlic. She was cooking something that smells delicious.

 

"We'll have dinner soon, get the plates ready, Levi" Eh? I'm supposed to be the boss here, aren't I?

 

"Hey brat, don't talk to me like that-"

 

"Shut up, Levi. I'm going to talk how I likes so get moving" I don't have a choice do I? What the fuck is this? I'm following somebody's orders! I put on the plates and distributed it on the table. She came in the dining room wearing an apron and carrying the rice and our meal, the curry and steak. She get back to the kitchen to get some broth she made too.

 

"Oi, Armin right?" she nodded. "Why is she so stubborn?"

 

"That is natural for someone who has amnesia, auntie and uncle told me you knew, Erin also know you knew so I am gonna be open. She is like that because she is naturally like that since we were kids. She doesn't follow anyone's orders unless she liked to. Now, excuse me because I really am hungry since this morning." Erin then was back with her broth. She removed her apron and then grabbed her plate and eat some curry and she put a lot, plenty of rice on her plate. The plate is 8 inches in diameter. Just imagine the plate was three fourths full and the remaining space was full of steak and curry. She is a monster. While me and Armin are, I guess we're pretty normal. Our plates are half rice and half the dishes. I say her cooking really surprised me because the way it taste was so much better that the way it smells. I'm slowly getting interested in this girl.

 

After eating, she did the dishes and Armin left before we knew it. I was watching my favorite tv series when she suddenly jumped in to the couch where I am sitting.

 

"You like that show?" I nodded without looking at her face. "You're seriously like a kid," its okay to be a kid sometimes, the adult's life is boring, “And you're a little short too," I glared at her and she saw me, making her chuckles stop and turn into a cough. "Kidding, kidding"

 

"Tell me, are you following me?" I seriously asked her but she won't look at me and she kept on focusing to somewhere else. "Oi, answer me, Jaeger"

 

"Fine, I'm f-following you, okay!"

 

"Huh? Why?" Give me your excuses," I commanded

 

"I ummm... Just... Ummmm,"

 

"Get to the point, brat" she took a deep breath and say it all.

 

"C-Cause I want to be your friend!" she exclaimed, her eyes are teary, shit, maybe I got her scared.

 

"No need to cry, idiot. Okay, I'll be your friend." I was frightened because she hugged me, she hugged me tight and she said her thanks. "Why? Why me?"

 

“You are a great guy and you have a good personality, I like to discover more sides of yours and like I said, we are the same. We're lost."

 

"And we need someone to find us," she nodded at my opinion. "We need acceptance and great attention"

 

"Yes." was all she muttered

 

"We are NOT the same, Erin." her grip loosened and she let go of me. Her teary eyes became even tearier. Like her eyes are telling me 'Why aren't we?'. "You have friends and family and you just forgot about your past but I have none. I have no family but I have friends and I was the one forgotten by those whom I love, Erin."

 

"But-"

 

" Erin, I don't like to love you more than what I am feeling right now. I want to be friends, yes. But I don't want to love you like that and more. Let's stay like this, normal people. We are not strangers anymore but we can pretend. We can pretend that we are nothing."

 

" B-But why? We will be great Levi, I swear to God! What is this nonsense you are talking about? I just want to be your friend, the one you talk all your hardships to, all your problems! Can't that be...me?" Her tears began falling. I turn the tv off and go to the white piano Erwin have. I played it. So she'll stop crying. And I sang.

 

"Oh won't you tell me, please just tell me, explain how this should work. Well now, who could it be? That lives inside of me. I'm broken lying, helpless shattered surrounded by the world, and yet you're smiling bright, completely blind to life" she stopped crying. And I also stopped playing,

 

"I already have Erwin, Hanji, Petra and Mike for that, and for me, there is no place for you anymore. I cared so much to these people. I wouldn’t like anyone to barge in our relationship. Therefore, you can't go in that wall, the wall of our friendship. I'm afraid to trust and afraid to be forgotten" I ended our conversation right there. She sob all night. I can see it the next morning. It’s true. I can't be her friend. She is a good girl and I'll be a bad influence. It’s better if I am not. I'm afraid I'll lose her. Once she got her memories back, she'll forget who I am and that I am her friend like her father said. I must say sorry to her. I hurt her feelings and said unnecessary things. Later. Maybe later.

 

Flash Back

 

“Actually she really has amnesia, she got into an accident not just so long ago, about a year, I think. She knows it. I know she does but try not to be her friend or other than that, you’ll only be hurt. But she is okay now. She’ll have an operation after six months in New Zealand.” Her father said, he talked to me personally. “Her mother was overthinking so, don’t be her friend please. There is a chance her memories will be wiped off after the operation. I hope you understand, young man.”

 

“Yes, sir”

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for my mistake, I thought I already posted this. I was surprised I didn't. Im really sorry.

_Okay, I have no idea where we are going._

We were still running when she suddenly stopped. Gasping for air, she let go of me and open her arms wide as she smiles.

 

"What? Wanna hug?"

 

"Excuse me," she rolled her eyes but the smile on her face was still there. "Ehem, ummm, Welcome to 'Le Maria'"

 

"What? Maria? This was on the guide book, isn't it?" this area was awesome. She asked me to stand on the log there, to make sure I see the moon cause the tree is covering it, I'll let it pass, what a brave woman, how dare her criticize my height.

 

"No," she chuckled, "In fact, nobody knows this place except me," I furrowed my eyebrows, confused. Then why did she tell me? Maybe she is kidding.

 

"Cut the crap kid, if you are the only one who knew this place, then why did tell me, you barely knew me," she laughed, covering her mouth. " Really, just cut it out, kid"

 

"No. I'm not kidding." her face turned serious.

 

"Then why did you told me about this place? Somebody besides you must knew this place, perhaps a friend of yours knew about this."

 

"I...I just don't know." She looked up at the bright moon. "Maybe because I feel the same as you,"

 

Woah. This shitty conversation's getting interesting.

"What is the same about us, I don't even know you. Tch."

"Haha. What are you, a kid?" she brightly exclaimed in a high pitched tone. "You're seriously funny, okay. First, I am gonna introduce myself." she cleared her throat and began to talk. “My name is Erin Jaeger" That first sentence gave me a shock. Just what the fuck. Well, I blame myself for not noticing that she has her mother's face. I'm an idiot for that. But why isn't she as beautiful as her mother?

 

"I have amnesia a few years back, when I woke up at the hospital, I feel...bored. You know, having no memories at all really affected my life. Starting that day I collected shells amd I don't know why so I do different sorts of things to them," she sat on the log I was standing on, she grabbed the piece of stem and began to draw an eye. A deep eye.

 

"What's that you're drawing?"

 

"Isn't obvious? It's an eye, dumbo"

 

"Well, you're probably dumber, going back, what made us the same?"

 

She sat straight up and tell me, "Probably the way we see the world. How unfair it is and how cruel it is. I guess I could feel how you're feeling. Wait, you didn't introduce yourself!" pouted Erin, pointing the stick at me. "Tell me about yourself and how did you find my place." she brightened up and sat in front of me while I bend down even to sit. She looks excited.

 

"I'm Levi. Just... Levi. You know my story because you eavesdrop right? So I'll proceed, I got here because I got lost in the forest while running my brain out. Happy?" she nodded and asked me how old am I. "I am already 20" her jaw dropped and her face looked like she saw a ghost. "What? You, how about you?"

 

"I'm seventeen and I'm in the first year of college next year. This year is my last year in senior high, I'll miss it." Our silence became awkward so I started a conversation.

 

"Why didn't you attend your parent's party? They are worried."

 

"Hmmm, so you've already met them huh? I can't tell the answer to your question but shall we head back? The party is gonna finish soon," she said as she stand up and grabbed parts of her dress to lift it up.

 

"Yes please,"

~~~

ERIN

 

I wasn't able to go there because of him. I saw him talking to mom and dad. I'm just embarrassed of what I've done today, so many things happened. All of the embarrassment involves him, too. When he saw me at my place, I was so shocked and I don't know what to do so I grabbed him to Maria. When we were walking back to the party he asked me things like, why did I scream a while ago when I saw him. I answered him saying, "Oh, because I was seeing a man's body." I haven't seen one. One that is so sexy. I ran away with a red face. Eight packed abs was amazing. I'm really surprised because he doesn't look like that when wearing his jacket. His face was as emotionless as a wall. But I can see him through. I can see it in his grayish eyes. His raven black hair looks smooth too and, what I like about him the most is that, he is sarcastic. That way, he's funny. I don’t know but I am really attracted to him

 

"Sorry, for all that happened today and yeah...I'm really sorry" I bowed my head and fold my hands while doing so.

 

"Yeah, it's okay." He came running to Mr. Erwin Smith. There are only a few people left. They went home, I could see the height difference between the two of them. He's really short, which made him even cute. I would love to be his friend. If I did that, it will be a great achievement since I haven't made friends except for my older brother Mikasa and my friend Armin. The two of them were the best. Of course my parents too are the best but, I can't be open with them. Mr. Erwin is kind too, though he looks scary at times but I can manage.

 

When I got home, as expected they lectured me. But as a good child, I won't say a thing. Sometimes, remaining silent is the best way to make an argument end without making it bigger. I slept with my mind full of Levi. Though I thought at first that he has no manners in talking, I think he is a man with a good personality.

 

LEVI

Today, Erwin asked me to buy some things at Erin's parents shop. The shop was just a few feet to their house. It’s full of goods and there is a souvenir corner. I bought what he asked me to buy, a condensed milk for his dessert, their dessert. He will be fishing together with Hanji and the rest of the gang.

 

"Here is your change, sir" The man with black tied hair said. "By the way sir, are you new here, cause I haven't seen you ?"

 

"Yes, I am, if you'll excuse me, I shall go" he put on a fake smile and bowed. Tch. What z brat.

 

"Yeah, have a nice day"

~~~~

It was really hot. Erwin and the others are getting ready for their fishing. Hanji was carrying a box full of cooking equipment. I saw Mike carrying pails of bait and Erwin was checking whether the rods are working.

 

"Levi, at last, did you bought it?" he asked as he test the equipment. I nodded at his question and gave it to him. "Thanks, well we're leaving, we will go back after a day or two, I put you in charge of the house and I invited someone to help you in the house since you can't cook. Erin will stay at the guest room and Armin will work part time, take care!" He left. Just like that.

 

Wait, did he say 'Erin' ? The fuck. This will be troublesome. And who the heck is 'Armin' ?

"WELCOME HOME!" somebody shouted and it was Ms. S, so she is Armin, huh? I saw Erin sautéing some onions and garlic. She was cooking something that smells delicious.

 

"We'll have dinner soon, get the plates ready, Levi" Eh? I'm supposed to be the boss here, aren't I?

 

"Hey brat, don't talk to me like that-"

 

"Shut up, Levi. I'm going to talk how I likes so get moving" I don't have a choice do I? What the fuck is this? I'm following somebody's orders! I put on the plates and distributed it on the table. She came in the dining room wearing an apron and carrying the rice and our meal, the curry and steak. She get back to the kitchen to get some broth she made too.

 

"Oi, Armin right?" she nodded. "Why is she so stubborn?"

 

"That is natural for someone who has amnesia, auntie and uncle told me you knew, Erin also know you knew so I am gonna be open. She is like that because she is naturally like that since we were kids. She doesn't follow anyone's orders unless she liked to. Now, excuse me because I really am hungry since this morning." Erin then was back with her broth. She removed her apron and then grabbed her plate and eat some curry and she put a lot, plenty of rice on her plate. The plate is 8 inches in diameter. Just imagine the plate was three fourths full and the remaining space was full of steak and curry. She is a monster. While me and Armin are, I guess we're pretty normal. Our plates are half rice and half the dishes. I say her cooking really surprised me because the way it taste was so much better that the way it smells. I'm slowly getting interested in this girl.

 

After eating, she did the dishes and Armin left before we knew it. I was watching my favorite tv series when she suddenly jumped in to the couch where I am sitting.

 

"You like that show?" I nodded without looking at her face. "You're seriously like a kid," its okay to be a kid sometimes, the adult's life is boring, “And you're a little short too," I glared at her and she saw me, making her chuckles stop and turn into a cough. "Kidding, kidding"

 

"Tell me, are you following me?" I seriously asked her but she won't look at me and she kept on focusing to somewhere else. "Oi, answer me, Jaeger"

 

"Fine, I'm f-following you, okay!"

 

"Huh? Why?" Give me your excuses," I commanded

 

"I ummm... Just... Ummmm,"

 

"Get to the point, brat" she took a deep breath and say it all.

 

"C-Cause I want to be your friend!" she exclaimed, her eyes are teary, shit, maybe I got her scared.

 

"No need to cry, idiot. Okay, I'll be your friend." I was frightened because she hugged me, she hugged me tight and she said her thanks. "Why? Why me?"

 

“You are a great guy and you have a good personality, I like to discover more sides of yours and like I said, we are the same. We're lost."

 

"And we need someone to find us," she nodded at my opinion. "We need acceptance and great attention"

 

"Yes." was all she muttered

 

"We are NOT the same, Erin." her grip loosened and she let go of me. Her teary eyes became even tearier. Like her eyes are telling me 'Why aren't we?'. "You have friends and family and you just forgot about your past but I have none. I have no family but I have friends and I was the one forgotten by those whom I love, Erin."

 

"But-"

 

" Erin, I don't like to love you more than what I am feeling right now. I want to be friends, yes. But I don't want to love you like that and more. Let's stay like this, normal people. We are not strangers anymore but we can pretend. We can pretend that we are nothing."

 

" B-But why? We will be great Levi, I swear to God! What is this nonsense you are talking about? I just want to be your friend, the one you talk all your hardships to, all your problems! Can't that be...me?" Her tears began falling. I turn the tv off and go to the white piano Erwin have. I played it. So she'll stop crying. And I sang.

 

"Oh won't you tell me, please just tell me, explain how this should work. Well now, who could it be? That lives inside of me. I'm broken lying, helpless shattered surrounded by the world, and yet you're smiling bright, completely blind to life" she stopped crying. And I also stopped playing,

 

"I already have Erwin, Hanji, Petra and Mike for that, and for me, there is no place for you anymore. I cared so much to these people. I wouldn’t like anyone to barge in our relationship. Therefore, you can't go in that wall, the wall of our friendship. I'm afraid to trust and afraid to be forgotten" I ended our conversation right there. She sob all night. I can see it the next morning. It’s true. I can't be her friend. She is a good girl and I'll be a bad influence. It’s better if I am not. I'm afraid I'll lose her. Once she got her memories back, she'll forget who I am and that I am her friend like her father said. I must say sorry to her. I hurt her feelings and said unnecessary things. Later. Maybe later.

 

Flash Back

 

“Actually she really has amnesia, she got into an accident not just so long ago, about a year, I think. She knows it. I know she does but try not to be her friend or other than that, you’ll only be hurt. But she is okay now. She’ll have an operation after six months in New Zealand.” Her father said, he talked to me personally. “Her mother was overthinking so, don’t be her friend please. There is a chance her memories will be wiped off after the operation. I hope you understand, young man.”

 

“Yes, sir”

 

 


	5. Who are You

 

I woke up gasping for air. I felt dizzier than usual. It has been like this this past few weeks.  It’s already April. Erin has to work in her parent’s shop but everytime I visit her, she was gone. That shithead Mikasa was ignoring my questions. In the end he admitted that she doeasn’t know where and what her sis is doing.

_Idiot.Now I kept on chasing her._

All I did now was wake up after a dream which I don’t remember and don’t bother remembering, eat, clean the house, go out to Our place, wait for Erin, chat, go home, do chores, surf the internet, eat, sleep, and dream again. But usually, it goes like, wake up, eat, clean, go for a walk, go home, clean, eat, sleep. Without Erin that is.

She’s like a beautiful flower despite the storm that was wrecking all in its way. She lit my heart. Now I feel so warm and safe with her. Just knowing her existence and that she is there alive, I feel safe. Now I know how sad it was to have someone you love die. I’ve been dreaming all about that and I feel what I felt every time I dream. It was like an escape to reality. It comes in variety. Different ages but almost same story goes on, the one I loved died or is dying before I wake up, or me dying. The stupid thing is I can’t remember him or her name nor their faces. It also sucks trying to, I’ll just waste time. A new dream again today, _I wonder what it would be._

~~~~~~~~~~

Eren. Eren. Eren. The name echoed in my head. I don’t know who he is but I know I love him. He’s going to die, I suddenly remembered. He’s dying for me.

 

The said man, no boy, was tied on a post, his face bruised but turquoise eyes still shining. I was standing near him, I noticed, along with Erwin, my best friend. Across us were Lady Mikasa and Lady Armin, both cleverly disguised as law clerks. They were fighting for Eren because of a debt I caused.

 

Mikasa. I am supposed to marry her because I’m in danger. I’m a girl. I’m just in disguise. Eren lent me money so I can go to her so I can be safe but in exchange, if he can’t pay his debt, Jean, a fiendish man out for blood, will take a pound of Eren’s flesh, the closest to the heart. It will kill him.

 

Mikasa, out of kindness or simple mercy, still volunteered to help. I will be safe but we will not be married. My heart belongs to Eren and she knows this. She’s here with me under disguise to stop Jean from taking Eren’s life.

 

“According to the contract, it is only righteous for Jean to take his penalty,” Mikasa said. It seems like she’s helping Jean but I trust her, reluctantly, but I trust her. “Go ahead; take your pound of flesh.”

 

“Good judge! Wise judge! I shall indeed take my flesh.” Oh good gracious, I hate that man. “Any last words, scum?” Jean sneered at Eren. I felt Eren grip my wrist hard, restraining me and thank him because I would have lunged at that monster then and there. Screw propriety.

 

Eren stared defiantly bu then he spoke, “I take my fall graciously but a last request, if one may grant it, a kiss from Levi Ackerman and I will go at peace.” The court, including me, gasped. It was a blatant act of homosexuality even if I am a woman for under the people’s eyes, I am a man.

 

“I grant it,” Mikasa whispered and urged me to go on with just her look. I nod at her

 

Slowly but surely, I approached Eren. He was kneeling so with my hand I tilted his face. The crowd was silent. Two men were about to share a kiss in public. I closed my eyes and I knew Eren closed his as well. My face drew near inch by inch and soon my lips were pressed against his in a soft, chaste kiss. I retract and looked around. The court was as still as death. I went back to my place everything went back to its voiceless chaos.

 

“Alright. Your wish is granted. Now prepare to bleed.” Jean took his sword from his side and positioned it just above Eren’s shoulder, descending to slice an arm until Mikasa stopped him.

 

“Wait!” Everyone stared at her incredulously. “Make sure to take only a pound, no more nor less, as stated in the contract You musn’t draw blood either lest the state of Maria will deem you unjust and take away your property.”

 

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped in disbelief. Does that mean…

 

“Wise judge! Listen to him, Jean.” I heard Erwin, uncharacteristically chime in.

 

“If that’s the case then I will take the money instead,” Jean said, barely upset. Just barely fucking upset.

 

“Nay, you cannot for you have already closed that option. Go ahead, take your flesh.” Mikasa’s face was expressionless, I observed, but I can see the glint of malice in her eyes. She was just tying with him for he was already backed up on a corner.

 

“I can’t. I will lose everything.”

 

“Then it is up to the defendant to show mercy and give you a lighter verdict.” What? Mikasa turned to Eren, “Will you give a verdict?”

 

“I will,” Eren answered,  “First, someone please untie me.”  A man, a guard perhaps rushed to cut his binds. “Second, I declare that half of your property will be transefered to the ownership of the soldier Connie and his wife Sasha once you die. Lastly, you must transfer from the Military police to the Survey corps.”

“Do you agree to those terms? Mikasa asked Jean.

 

“I…” He seemed to be thinking it over. “I agree.” The crowd cheered in response but my eyes never left Eren’s as he took confident strides to reach me.

 

Eren’s arms wrapped around my waist and his other hand raised my face, pulling me into a kiss. I gladly complied and twisted my fingers in his chocolate hair as my lips slanted against his. For a moment, nothing else existed. Someone yelled, but we barely acknowledged it, too absorbed in each other’s presence.

 

Everything was perfect now We are together despite a few memory gaps like I couldn’t remember how we met or how he broke through my ice cold façade. I don’t know what period or day it is. I couldn’t remember yesterday, the day before that or any day at all in the past but despite all odds I know I love Eren. My Eren. Eren is my forever, he only constant thing in my ever changing world. Truer words were never spoken.

 

I wish this moment was forever frozen in memory. A battle was won in the name of love, as cheesy as it sounds and how out of character of me saying that. With Eren, I am now complete. Even if he was a man a woman, disfigured or hurt, I know he completes me, the thought suddenly came to mind. I love him. Everything is now perfect.

 

Until it stopped. Jean drove a dagger though Eren’s back, piercing his heart and my shirt, the tip of the blade barely nicking my skin. I suddenly couldn’t breathe. I pulled away, tasting the copper in my mouth. My head spun as Eren tried to say something but I couldn’t understand him. Blood started pouring over his mouth soaking up the dirty white shirt of his and mine as well. I started feeling faint. And then I screamed, my last memories were those pure bright eyes still piercing mine just as the blade did to his heart. Eren. The last word echoed before darkness overtook me.

~~~~~~~~~

_Ring. Ring. Ring._

The alarm went off. I fell asleep on my chair holding a book. _Merchant of Venice_ as it was read. A book of Shakespeare. My thumb was stuck in a page like a bookmark.  Page 141 where a character’s letter was read by his friend. “…If I can just see you again before I die…” Levi read it out loud. There was a sudden tingle in his mind.

_Forget it._

He put the book in a shelf and left his room quietly. Erwin was exercising outside and Mike was with Petra drinking coffee by the beach. However, Hanji was up to something again in their kitchen.

“Oi, what do you think you’re doing?”  Hanji gasped in surprise of Levi behind her back.

“Levi! Oh Levi,” she tightly squeezed Levi in a hug “I’m making coffee for Erwin,” she flashed a smile,

“No drugs or something? Try and put some and you’re dead, got it?” Levi glared at Hanji. Of course, he knew Hanji liked Erwin. Erwin knows it too, just not telling Hanji he does.

“Oh, come on Levi, of course I didn’t! Trust me” Hanji smiled sheepishly and walked outside carrying the coffee she made especially for Erwin. Levi grinned watching the two. Hanji was rejected and ended up drinking what she made. _Poor idiot._

Meanwhile, a blonde and a brunette approaches, giving the gang food and tea. Armin walked to Erwin happily, bringing him red tea and croissant, Erwin’s favorite. The big man happily accepted the small ones offer. Hanji pouted the two. That moment went on smoothly. Levi greeted Erin.

“How are you?” Erin tilted her head and saw Levi offering her the croissant, which was supposed to be his, to Erin.

“Don’t like that?” Levi nodded, “But why? It was one of those wonderful things Earth have!” Levi stayed silent. “fine, I’ll eat your share,” she accepted. After finishing her food, she grabbed her things and left the place. Levi grasped her arms before leaving the area.

“Where are ya’ going?”

“Collecting shells,” she removed Levi’s hand from her arms, “Trust me it will be boring, you don’t want to come.”

“’Yeah, I do. Let’s go.”

~~~~~~~~

“What are you gonna do with these?” Levi asked trying to get rid of the dirt inside the tiny white shell he found.

“It’s a secret I only know,” she winked

“Ugh, that’s unfair. Don’t do that wink it kinda sucks. You look like a teenager trying her best to close that one eye and trying not to end up closing the other one too,” Levi complained and looked back at what he was doing.

“Eh? Then,” she stood up and placed her right hand on her chest in an awkward position. Levi looked at Erin and was stunned at how epic it was, “teach me, heichou!” Erin shouted. Standing in a straight position with legs and feet apart. Her left hand was on her back clenched.

“Heichou? What the heck is that salute,” Levi laughed at Erin, “Where did you get that kid? It was seriously funny,”

“It was…I don’t remember it but I think I did it…What? Never mind, it was just making this salute seems very nostalgic, and calling you heichou was kinda great too, so I decided to call you that when we’re alone. ” She smiled rubbing the back of her head. “just teach me, sensei” her puppy eyes pierce into my ice cold eyes.

“Okay, look closely,” Levi stared at a rock,

“Oi, look at…me…heichou” Erin’s jaw dropped as for a while go, Levi was staring to the rock but then Levi looked at her and boom! Winked that right blue-grey eye, it was fast yet at Erin’s perspective, it was like forever. Also, the smirk on Levi’s face when he did that was so chilled like, he was trying to flirt.

_Gosh, he’s hot._

“Well?” Levi waved a hand at Erin’s face.

“Well, what?” Erin felt blood rushing to her cheeks.

“Did I do…well. Well, well, well. Look who’s as red as a tomato,” he looked at his back with his tiny hand on his sexy hips and the other rubbing he back of his neck. But still, his eyes were…emotionless.

“Y-You just l-looked different when you winked,” Erin stuttered she got up and grabbed her pail full of shells and faced the back. “Well, I’m leaving and don’t you dare follow me.”

“Okay, do something with that red face, at least now I can say I looked like fuck when I did that. I won’t do it ever again.” He left. Both of them walking in opposite directions.

_I also feel nostalgic, I feels good being called heichou._

 


	6. Chapter 6

LEVI

 

And yes, she hasn't talked to me since that time. There was no annoying girl. There was no one at THAT place. No one at Le Maria. No one to talk to. No one.

 

Fuck. I miss her.

 

 Now, I realize that she was the reason I learned how to chuckle, laugh and smile again. Shit. I wished I've never let her go. I didn't have the courage to say sorry too. It has been three weeks. Now it is back to being boring. Like before, I locked in myself in my room and only get out for meals and if Erwin needed help. After a few days, I received a letter from a lawyer, about my aunt. She died because of her age and because of her sickness, poor woman. Now, I have a reason to be busy for her funeral. I know I owe her a lot so at least I’ll do this to pay her back. She took care of me, and she has no one besides me. She gave her properties to me. I told the lawyer I will arrange everything for her funeral and of course, with the help of my friends.

~~~~~~

In the funeral, there was a woman covered in black and she whispered something to me and gave me a letter. Her language was a bit different so I don't know the meaning. There were so few people in there, I didn't even shed a tear but I am sad, they won't come out. When I got home after my aunt was buried deep down the ground, I read the letter the woman in black gave to me.

 

_Dearest Levi,_

_Forgive me oh young Levi. I know I hurt your feelings and I kicked you out of the house, but before I ran out of breath, let me say many things to you. I am your real mother, son. Your uncle isn't  your father though. He was the third man I loved. Next to you and your father. It was all a lie. I was pregnant of you when he leaved me. I was so afraid that you'll grow without a father. I thought you’ll be very unlucky to have me as your mother cause we have debts and such before. I think so long and have decided to take you to my friend and her husband. They weren't blessed to have a child. I saw you grow from a distant. I sneak and follow you from home to school and back at home. But they were both diagnosed with cancer, you probably don't remember their faces. It killed them. And that was when you came back to me._

_I cherished all the times I have with you. Remember the times I take you to restaurants? Seeing your big smile is the world for me. I love those days as well as I love when I cook dinner for both of us. When you came, that was the first time I felt I am at home. Our home.But your uncle died. I loved him, Levi. Although you only met him a few times, I saw that you would be glad to have him as you’re father. He soon proposed to me when you’re gone for your class trip. We’re planning on surprising you when you got home after three days. On your arrival day, he planned to fetch you in school and drive you home. But he never came back. He was dead. You got home by yourself.  I was so depressed and I started taking drugs and drinking beer. Sorry I let it all out on you. I'm sorry for everything, son. I really am, believe me. I miss you, Levi. At least get back before I die. Let me see your face one last time. That way I can rest in peace._

_Remember, choose wisely who you love and care for, if you are certain, don't let go. Go back home, son. I love you._

_-Mama_

I could feel the warm tears dripping down my cheeks. So that's why she is so gentle. But why now? She is gone already. So I am abandoned by all of the people I loved. But she told me don't let go, so I won't let Erin pass. _Huh?_ I forgot, she is also gone. Away from me.

 

I lie down my bed, still shocked and crying without producing a single sound. Why does everyone leaves me? _Wait. If I'll die, I'll be free of this misery. Yes, and I will be with Mama again._

 

I'm so sorry mother. I'm not a good son. I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry mom. Forgive me if I say those things to you. Calling you dumb.

 

A sound of another voice woke me up, it was my own. Right, I will go to that place and swim. Night swimming is good for depression. _Right?_

 

I stand in the middle of the big stone so I can dive in the ocean. I arched my back and position myself. Then, I jumped in. After feeling the water that reached from my head, right when it reached the tip of the fingers of my feet, I felt a hard thing that stung my head. I saw blood coming from the wound it made, making the water a bit violet. I felt dizzier and dizzier every second. I managed to go near the land but right after I did,  It became all pitch black.

~~~~~~

"Levi, oi wake up!" a voice of  a young man said, I can't see his face, my vision seems to be blurry. Its adjusting to the light that shines right at the back of his head. His hair was short and he is a brunette. "Mikasa will be mad if she saw you there using her scarf as a pillow," said the boy as she kept on shaking me.

 

"Who are you?" I tried to get up but I kept on failing, he held his hand and I grabbed it.

 

"What? Who me? It's Eren Jaeger, idiot"

 

"Huh? Eren? Why are you here?"

 

"We slept over for work, we barely finished making our report for today to the CEO," he said, getting a nice shirt in his cabinet. "Wait, are you drunk from that amount of beer last night? Why, you have amnesia bro?"  he sarcastically said to me,

 

"No, I was just confused, okay let us get started,"

 

We resume at the work after Eren lectures me about how unclean I am in his room. He said how dare I am to mess up his room. Well, never mind it doesn't matter. Where the hell am I? What's this place, am I dead? Nirvana? The stranger part is I remember who am I supposed to be here. I was an office worker who works with Eren, I think I'm gay. I like him since we've been working together. The thing is he doesn't know I like him. He thinks of me as a friend.

 

"Who is our CEO?" I asked as we were getting ready for work.

 

"Whut?! Your ultimate crush, Erwin! Well, you said you'll forget him after getting rejected so, sorry for reminding him to you," he chuckled.

 

Yeah, I remember. _It was a lie,_ I said that cause it will be awkward when your crush will ask who your crush is.

 

"Oh right," is all I uttered.

 

~~~~

I woke up to see Erin and Erwin by my side.

 

"You alright?" asked the lovely girl.

 

"She found you in the ocean, you owe her your life" Erwin stood up and gave me some porridge.

 

"Erwin, will you leave us for a bit?" Erwin  nodded and get out of the room without hesitation. He closed and locked the door to give us some privacy.

 

"What?" she asked in an annoyed tone.

 

"I'm sorry for all that I said that time. It was a lie" she was silent and her crooked eyebrows relaxed. There was softness in her eyes. "Can you give me a chance? Let us be friends" she sighed. I felt my heart beating fast because of nervousness but as usual, I used my face to hide it all. She shook my hand and hugged me tight.

 

"I am really sorry for your aunt, I give you my condolences, Levi"  My eyes are getting wet again. I want to open up to her because she is my friend but I can't. My heart says yes but my mind says no. "Do you want something else to talk about? Any problems?"

 

"Huh? N-No, nothing. I remembered something" _That lie!_ “I’m already 26 you know, sorry I lied”

 

"I know that cause someone told me, Hanji." she winked "I’m really seventeen but now I’m eighteen already.  My birthday was last week.” Again, I saw her darling smile.. “ Then, feed yourself and go back to sleep or rest," I decided not to make that issues of age bigger so I opened another topic.

 

"Wait, how many hours have I been here?" I asked out of curiosity.

 

"That is three days. The cut on your head was too deep so you need an operation for stitching it. Don't worry cause the doctor didn't say anything about a vital part that was affected or something like that. " did she say 'cut'? I looked the mirror and saw a bandage in the back of my head. Now that I stand in the room, I realized I am in a hospital room.

 

"When will I get out of here?"

 

"Probably tomorrow," she said with a smile, the warmest I ever saw. "I shall go now, take care okay?" I nodded at her. She was always concerned to me.

 

“Wait!” My dull voice uttered. She gazed at me and asked what, “Just wanted to say… Happy Birthday, Erin” She gorgeously laughed.

 

“Thanks, foreman” she stick out her tongue and closed the door.

 

Wait, I've just had a dream but what is it again? I suppose it was something important to me. Forget it, it was just a dream.

~~~~~

It was all fast. Today, I'm getting the hell out of the hospital. They injected some medicine to me. I wore my jacket and put my hands in my pocket. I was hurt by a sharp object. It was that shell from that place _. It was here all this time?_ The color hasn't faded. It was still beautiful.  I didn't threw it that time and hid it in my pocket when she came. I also noticed she has none of this kind, but I won't give this to her. I'll give this to her when it is right. Come to think of it, this was the second time I wore this jacket without laundry. Yuck. I must clean this. It stinks.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Welcome Home, Levi”

 

Everyone welcomed me, my friends and Erin's acquaintances. There is at least 13 people in the house and 14 if I am included. I don't know many of them but Erin introduced them to me. Probably most of them are just here for Erwin's food, like that Sasha and Connie. Some are after the drinks and vodka like Jean, Mike, Marco and Hanji. Petra was after the barbecue and Erwin was after everybody's background, specially their  business. Erin was after our friendship and Armin was probably here because of Erwin, but he won't notice her. There was one who is after Krista which is Ymir while Krista is after new friends, she was talking to a lot of boys, I think the boys are after her though. Finally, Erin introduced me to her brother, Mikasa.

 

"Levi, this tall man here is my brother Mikasa, but we are not blood related. He was an orphan so we are in the same age. Mikasa, this is Levi. The reason why we've all gathered here" _not the only reason though_. He was indeed tall, but I am short. He stared at me and I glared at him. There was a wicked aura going on here. " Nice to meet you, sir Levi" there was sarcasm in his voice. Probably after Erin. He doesn't like me but the feeling is mutual. Oh Right! He was the one at their store! _Huh. That cheap cashier huh?_

 

"Me too, Mikasa" I shook his massive hand and he tightened his grip. He was trying to crush my hand. _Sorry man, I have strength to do this to your hand twice painful._ I saw him clench his teeth, with pain in the way he opens his mouth. _Serves you right, shithead._

"I need to go rest Erin," I walked in my room but she followed me.

 

"I'll keep you company" she sat and read my books. It’s embarrassing calling all of it mine, they were all romance. I rest my eyes and think where I've heard the name Mikasa before.

~~~~~

"Erin, I know you the moment you've joined the Survey Corps. Your disguise is good but I saw you through." I calmly said to Erin. We are in a cave and it is misty outside. The rain was pouring hard. We were stuck in a cave with only fire, a blanket and ourselves to keep us warm. She had her head rest on my shoulders and we have the blanket and our cloaks for our protection against the cold. I am embracing her.

 

I am her captain and we are supposed to be out there in the wilderness of the world to have an expedition. I don't know why. But its purpose was to reclaim a wall. All I know was we are a couple. A secret couple. No one knows except us. Erwin on the other hand find us suspicious. We've already kissed but we don't do THAT thing. Erin was afraid it will hurt so I just wait for her to be ready.

"You know, I really like the way your shoulders and arms are build. Looks lame when you have clothes but superb when you have none." chuckles Erin.

 

"Don't laugh at me, brat. You are a lot like that though. Just stay there and rest, we will have a long journey tomorrow." she fell asleep. But I heard growls of a beast. Of beasts. I saw them behind us, while Erin was sleeping soundly. I will protect her. My hand was scratched by the beast and so as my left leg. Many things happened but it was not detailed in this dream, all I remember was after killing all of them, Erin lifted me up the ground and keep on telling me she loves me.. I don’t have any energy to say I love her back. I got bitten by one of those beasts I killed. It ate my flesh. Feeling the open wound bleed, “Levi, I love you don’t die on me” I closed my eyes overwhelmed by the voice of my lover and suiting myself for the one I love was the with me till my last breath.

 

That is how I died. Then I woke up, in the same room at Erwin’s house. I saw Erin by my side, she was sobbing.


	7. Second House

Levi

 

Will I take it or not? I'm fucking curious of how my life was; my FIRST life was, when I first smelled air. I just don't know whether my dreams are kidding me. Neither knew if everything was true or it was all a lie.

 

Erin left me here at Hanji's and she said 'make friends, I am going somewhere else', I just don't get her. She keeps on vanishing and floating every damned time. I thought of following her but I think that was going too far. She needs privacy and I respect her the way she respects me.

 

Maybe I need to think about taking that elixir.

 

Hours went by and I wasn't able to see Erin that day.

~~~~~~~~

 

"Ummmm, is Erwin there?" it was the other shortie. She knocked at the door this early morning. I crooked my eyebrows in amazement and opened the door.

 

"Heh, I thought all workers here were asked to call us-clients, as 'sir' or 'ma'am', right Arlert?"

 

Armin was surprised hearing the statement I just said, "Wha- Well, Erwin allowed me to call him by his name,"

 

I covered my mouth and pressed my lips and covered my mouth, trying hard to control laughing sarcastically. "Erwin has never let anyone besides me and my friends to address him that, you barely know him you know, how could he allow that," her eyes rolled down and was hurt but then it regained life when someone suddenly tapped my head.

 

"Speak of the devil," I shrugged, crossing my arms as I lazily stand in one foot and lean my body to the wall.

 

"Bullying again, Levi?" he grimaced."Well, hello Armin, good day," he smiled at the blonde. She blushed right away after hearing the big man's cold voice greeting her. "I see you cut your hair shorter, and bangs, really lot shorter than your usual full bangs that makes you look so emo,"

 

Armin's eyes widened and were full of sparks when she heard that. She plays a strand of her golden hair, "You noticed?"

 

Erwin hummed in response, "it suits your cute personality," he smiled at her. I'm sure she wishes she'd be dead after seeing those smile and those curved eyes. It means a lot when he said things with those eyes. "Especially you're bangs, it really suits you," he added

 

"Ummm, better if I'm out I guess but before you two flirt in front of me," Erwin glared and Armin flushed even harder to her ears, "let me have Erin's phone number, please"

 

"Sure"

 

The darkness began to take on a different tone, more of gray than brown. Erwin realized that storm clouds must have really thickened and sunk toward the ground, pushing the dust and fog out of the way. The wind has lessened slightly but the lightning seemed to be stronger than what they've experience ages ago.

 

Erwin invited Armin, Erin, and asked Armin to invite Mikasa and the others, to join and have fun in a sleepover. Since it will be rainy these days, as stated in the news just this morning before someone knocked, Erwin quickly thought of this stupid plan. Well, not completely stupid, cause Erin will be there.

 

MAIN POV

 

"I'll go fetch Erin," Armin offered, pointing at the direction where the dark clouds are forming, hiding the light of the sun early in the morning.

 

"Let me help you," Erwin attempted to follow Armin as she walks away from him.

 

"No, no, it's okay sir," Armin tried to hurry in walking but the blonde man's steps and legs has a huge difference compared to her, small and petite just like herself.

 

Armin lost his footing and almost fell and she almost slipped from Erwin's grip. Erwin quickly caught Armin's curved back, making their position a... little awkward. For both of them. They stared at each other, unable to move but was brought back to their senses when rain started to pour.

 

"Let's go,” Armin grabbed Erwin's wrist and since Erwin seems lost, he just followed the girl.

 

They kept on running and reached an empty house, just as they came in, the rain fell in torrents, like Poseidon sucked up the ocean and spit it out in fury.

 

"Wow," exhausted, Erwin said catching his breath after their long run. "Where are we?"

 

Armin opened the lights, revealing her figure underneath her big white loose shirt and her short shorts. Erwin's eyebrows reacted to this, making them rise in amazement. "This is our house, welcome to our...house, do I look ugly sir?"

 

I never knew this kid would be...like this for the two years I am gone.

"Oh no. No you're not. Excuse me for intruding,"

 

"It's okay, Sasha and Connie always barge in without permission," she get two cups and grabbed a teapot with her

 

"That's some quite funny friends you have," Erwin chuckled, "Live by yourself?"

 

Armin poured the tea in each cup, offering the other one to Erwin and the other remained for herself, "I'm with my father," 

 

"Where is he?" Erwin smelled the smoke from the cup of tea and was pleased by the aroma he inhaled.

 

"Probably at the cafe, working" Armin took a sip of tea, licked her lips from the side, and pressing her lips together.

 

"Which cafe?"

 

"Our cafe, beside the Jaeger's shop" Erwin gulped a big one in his cup.

 

"So that was yours and your dad's?"

 

"Precisely,"

 

"I love your Latte, the mocha ones; it's really smooth and delicious,"

 

"My pleasure, sir"

 

"Call me by name... When others are not around"

~~~~~

Levi was so happy he finally got her number, he decided to call her Bud, since she's not blossomed fully and because he thinks of her as a Buddy.

 

Levi has been staring at his phone and has not been able to resist not checking it every damn minute.

 

She hasn't replied yet. Damn it.

Levi kept on complaining. He has been there for almost two hours and have gone eating breakfast, but still no response to the text message he spent an hour or so thinking of.

**_Levi:_ ** _Hi, it's Levi. I got your number from your friend shortie. Care for a sleepover today till the other day in Erwin's house? It will be fun since it will be rainy the whole week._

 

He finally got tired of waiting and watched Big Hero 6. In the middle of the movie, his phone finally buzzed.

 

**_Bud:_ ** _Yo, Levi. How dare you call Armin a shortie you meanie, Am gonna join your sleepover. Guess whut Mikasa's gonna join 2, syl._

 

Her message is messed up. What an idiot. What the hell's 'syl'.

Levi was grinning like an idiot when suddenly a large bang of noise startled him.

 

"What the hell, Erwin" he kept his blank face in order to control his anger. He hates noise aside from dirt.

 

Instead of Erwin, Sasha responded to Levi. "Sorry, sir. Me and Armin will be staying here from this very hour till the morrow since we have no more shifts left for job, please take care of us," Sasha's forehead's dripping with sweat as she say so, probably nervous since he didn't talked to h since the first day they've met.

 

"No, not that. And stop entering in other's conversation." Levi said flatly. Sasha's gulped hard trying not to flinch and shake as the little man made his way to their backs. "Why the fuck are you soaking Erwin," he was so annoyed at Erwin ruining his perfectly clean floor, it was wet from Erwin's clothes and was dirty from the dirt of Erwin's feet.

 

"I'm a gentleman, let it pass Levi, I'll have this two help you clean, and the others too, happy?" he said keeping his cool aura while Levi's looking at him with a hand on his hips. Erwin took off his shirt and was left with his inner tank top. Too bad Armin wasn't there.

 

"Good that. Make lunch, I'm hungry."

 

"Did you pack already?"

 

"For what?"

 

"We'll go to my second house here, it's much bigger." he smirked at Levi.

 

Levi rolled his eyes to Erwin, "Fucking rich idiot, I wish I'm wealthy as you, could've had a nice life living," Erwin chuckled.

~~~~~

 

LEVI

When all visitors are here in house one namely, Mikasa, Connie, Jean, Marco, Sasha, Armin, Petra, Hanji, Mike, a new friend Auro, and the brown headed man with spiky hair and the other with long hair in a ponytail. And Erin, we proceeded to house two of Erwin. Most aren't surprised. Actually it was just me and Erin since the two of us are new in this world. They're all talking while in the road and Erin and me were the only one silent. Just listening to others talking about their experiences cause they said last three years before Erwin left the island, he invited them, all of them in a sleepover, also there at house two. Erin and I were out of place. I could feel that that what's she's feeling right now.

~~~~~~~

MAIN POV

 

"Hey, you said you've had an accident right?" Levi asked Erin as they walk to Erwin's house.

 

"Yes, why did you ask?"

 

"Did you undergo an operation?"

 

"Y-yeah, why?" Erin raised a brow to Levi, she's too confused.

 

"Nothing, I just thought it will be cool if you have stitches or marks of it," Levi replied, being curious of how does a stitch look in personal. Well, he's pretty sure too how it looked at his own scalp.

 

"You’re creepy," teased Erin as she chuckles.

 

"No, I'm cool"

~~~~~

Levi's eyes stung from the dirt flying through the air. Everyone else began rubbing their eyes with cloth, or covering their eyes with their hands. Levi has his hand cover both his eyes and the other holding Erin, they've been at the back of the line when the track started to get rough. It was not Levi who's making them slow down, it was Erin.

 

"You guys okay, down there?" said Connie, as he held the hands of Sasha, "It will be pretty steep up here be careful,"

 

"Yeah," Erin said catching her breath, seems like trecking is not her thing, good thing the rain stopped a while ago.

 

At last the group made their way up the mountain. Levi lingered at the back, surprised at how blank his mind felt. How numb. He has no idea where they've been walking and where the hell is his room. Not until Erwin finally spoke.

 

"Good afternoon, everyone." Levi tried to focus on him but whenever there is a large crowd, the first person he sees when looking around is Erin. He's been holding her  wrist a while ago, but he let go as soon as Erin saw the roof of the house. It sure was a lot bigger than the first house, just look at the mini pool. It has a second floor. Unlike the first house, this has more paintings and ethnic accessories. The house was fillex with colorful furniture, its design was modern but it really fits being a beach house. Erin has been sitting on the cube sit while the others are on the sofa. Levi has been standing at the corner near the lamp since they got there.

 

"The room assignments will be posted by Armin, for now enjoy yourselves with some snacks my personal maid made for all of us," he explained. Meanwhile, the maid came in with two butlers. There are two blondes and a tall brunette guy.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, this are the caretakers of this house, the maid, Annie," she nodded at the crowd, "the other blonde is Reiner and the tall guy is Hoover,"

 

The blonde man with a large body just smirked and nodded, "just call me by my name"

 

The tall guy's not relaxed at all, "C-Call me, B-Bertholt" he said bashfully, "Suit yourselves with these food we prepared, please "

 

~~~~~

 

LEVI

 

I will be two doors away from Erin, and I will share the same room with Hanji. Shit happens. Why Hanji? This will be hell. I just hate her when she is noisy but I like her. We have another three people with us.

 

Hanji and I went straight in our room after eating. The rain's still pouring. The wind's swirling and you can even hear its sound. All the others are watching news downstairs and I saw half of the crowd watching a basketball game. I can hear their cheers from the wall dividing all six rooms. I can hear Connie's voice.

 

Erin, Armin and Sasha got the first room which is really arranged for girls. Connie, Jean and Marco got the second. It has a television and three large beds. The two guys I don't know got the third and I don't know how it looks like. The fourth room is one of the biggest and has most beds for so Hanji, Levi, Petra, Mike and Auro will share it.

 

Mikasa got the fifth room solo. It has the most books and Erwin's in the biggest room. It will get dark soon. I saw Armin making a schedule for today and I saw 'movie marathon' there. Netflix will be cool alone but watching with a crowd of people might hold your true emotions. You can't cry if it's sad or react when you're angry or wanna say something to the story.

 

Just as I finished arranging my things and argue with Hanji over the bottom bunk, I gathered courage to ask her about her tonic.

 

"Hey, about your tonic," Hanji flinched while folding her clothes.

 

"What?"

 

"How does it work again?" she finally looked at my direction and smirked

 

"Heh. So our little Levi's curious about my tonic, huh?" I glared at her making her take back her words saying she is just kidding. "It was made for anyone who wants to know about how their first life was or the reason how they lived the world today. It might be the reason why things are happening in strange ways," she continued talking.

 

"How are you so sure?"

 

"Well, I tried it myself"

 

My eyes widened at what just Hanji said, "You are really crazy," she just nodded and hummed. "What happened in your first life?"

 

"Secret, I'm not telling anybody"

 

"Oh shut up, shitty glasses, just tell me," I gestured annoyingly of Hanji. She won't tell me and unfortunately, I'm not a good persuader.

 

"Fuck, fine" silence covered the room. Seems like the game was over since they came so quiet. All you could hear was the sound of the droplets of the rain on the roof. Now that I am doing nothing, I realized that our room has television and a sofa by the sliding door leading to a little veranda.

 

The veranda was clean and you can see a pot of a plant in the corner of it.

 

The view would be beautiful of its not raining. If you look straight from side to side, you could see the sea and the wide view of half of the island. If you look down the mountain, you'll have a good view of flowers in various colors and trees and the steep path that we took. And if you look upwards, the night view of the sky might be good, if it's just not raining or if there weren't nimbus clouds clouding the sweet view of the stars.

Given its high location in the mountain, I can also see the places Erin and I have been, like Le Maria, where I could mark the abnormal shape of the tree, it's heart-shaped. Erin didn't point it out though I know she knew it.

 

Just as I turn my back, the others barge in. "Good news you two," Petra excitedly ran at Hanji's side "The sun will come out by tomorrow cause the storm changed its course and headed north"

 

"Yeeeeaaaaahhhh, that's some great neeewwwwssss!" growled Hanji, "Now the plans on," she smirked looking at me

 

"What plan?" I said blankly

 

"We'll have a campfire tomorrow night and play," Hanji chuckled creepily.

 

"What play?"

 

"You'll find out soon," she chuckled again, she stood up and sighed, "For now, I'll help Armin make our schedule,"

 

"Yeah, make it fun" Auro murmured. For the second time, the room became quiet. "Hey Petra, care to take the bottom bunk?"

 

"Of course,"

 

Now that I realized, this room was clean, you can't see any webs or dirt on furniture. Erwin did a good job knowing I'm a clean freak.

 

~~~~~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

LEVI

It is already calm outside, the rain stopped in a blink. The sky was already clear and the sun has already shown.

"It will be dawn soon," murmured Hanji. She is not wearing any glasses and I am the only one who can see it. She looks even younger without that shitty glasses. A lot better. Her eyes were focused on the sea and was full of...loneliness. "Something's off to you, what's wrong?"

Her eyes widened and she gestured pointing her index finger and the rest clenched. Her smile finally came back and as I thought, she was sad. We've been friends since college so I think I’ve seen her at her worst times. "Nothing, I confessed again to Erwin,"

"Huh?! When?" I think I know where this is going. "When we were alone, when I said I'll help Armin fix our schedule. Just after that, he came in the room. " Hanji replied.  
~~~~~~  
FLASHBACK

"Armmmmiiinnn!" Hanji hugged the blonde. She was sitting in the wooden chair writing what they're gonna do the night and calculating all activities to fit in every day.

Armin scoffed at Hanji and sighed. "What?" she faced Hanji, looking up at her with warm eyes. Her deep blue eyes are cute, it matches her cute little face and in addition, she looked like a cute mushroom with her hair.

"Oh my mushroom," she nuzzled Armin's short hair. "Lemme help you in our sched, I'm adding some exciting games,"

"Okay...just stay there, I'll be back after an hour to rest my eyes, I feel so tired," Armin yawned. Hanji finally let go of the short one and took her place just right after the mushroom stood from her place. She didn't close the door.

In the middle of time, someone knocked and it was Erwin. "Armin?" Hanji can't control herself. He grabbed Erwin in the room, locked the door and cornered him using her arms to cage him. Erwin was calm as fuck, and his face is the same.

"Listen, I'm sor-" before Hanji can even say what she was saying, Erwin broke out of her arms.

"Stop this nonsense, Zoe"

Hanji grasped his hand before he even reaches for the doorknob. "Give me a chance, I can't get over you, Erwin" Now she was hugging him behind, closing her eyes as hard as she can because of embarrassment. Erwin gently pull Hanji's hands away from his chest and away from his body. It annoys him.

" I don't give second chances to people who don't deserve it, excuse me" 

"Such a gentleman to break my heart, I accept defeat,"  
~~~~~~  
"Drop that idiotic smile, you look like shit." Levi lecture Hanji. She has droplets of tears dripping down her cheeks while she was smiling idiotically.  
~~~~~~  
LEVI  
I don't want to end up like Hanji. I don't want to love Erin anymore. I can stop this madness. I've been able to control my feelings since a long time ago so I know, I can get over her.

Since I am walking in a fast manner, I didn’t noticed I get to go inside the girls' room. And she was there. Singing while fixing her things and her voice was beautiful.

"Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel..." she said and the rest was just "na na na na na na na kiss you in the rain so," like that. She didn't know the lyrics. Her voice was husky and warm at the same time. It makes the cold surrounding hot.

Fuck. This will be hard.

"Levi?" she tilted her head to me, seems like she didn't want to let anyone see or hear her sing. Why, it is her fault she didn't lock the door.

"I was just walking when I heard you sing," I said trying to hide the real reason behind this, that I barged in without thinking where I am going,

"Shit, so you heard me huh?" she chuckled, "My voice is terrible, it is embarrassing" she rubbed her hair while talking and leaved her stuff.

"I think it's beautiful, I like voices like that,"

"Why thank you, and it's a secret so in exchange, sing for me,"

I crooked my eyebrows and sighed, "Okay okay, I'll sing the same song just two lines okay," and she nodded and so I started to sing, "Hey Erin I know looks can be deceiving but I know I saw a light in you," she smiled so wide it reaches her ears. And as expected she laughed.

"Stop it Jaeger, don't tell anyone how bad I am at this, "  
She hummed in response.  
~~~~~~~  
"So who wants to play scrabble?" Hanji yelled at the crowd, all of us except Erwin looked at Hanji. "The one who has the lowest score will be asked by whatever question each of us want to ask, deal?"

The crowd cheered, all of us joined except for Erwin, he got up at his room to review the status of his company. In the first round, Armin lost. "Don't, please" Armin said.

"Okay," Erin leaned to her right, "my question is, what do you like about the person you love?"

"I don't really know. Maybe because he is smarter and beautiful than any other in this world." Erin nodded. She smirked at Mikasa.

"Who is the person you like?" Mikasa said directly. Armin shrugged and her grip to the pillow she is holding tightened.

"You planned this Erin," she rolled her eyes and glared at Mikasa.

"I know you love me," Erin shot a smile at Armin.

"Shut up, it was Erwin" Yes, yes. And I saw Hanji's fake smile again. Hope she moves on soon. Those questions were the most trivial. Oh, I forgot Hanji's.

"Do you think you love him, or you only LIKE him?"

"L-love him, I guess." Armin flushed pink saying to us she loves Erwin. That tree is so lucky.

On the fourth round, it was me who lost, everyone asked shitty questions until it was Erin's turn to ask.

"Ummm, who do you like?" Everyone cheered.

"Good to go, Erin" Connie yelled.

"Ugh, I forgot that question!" Hanji complained

"Tell us, Levi. Who do you L.I.K.E?"

You

I want to say it, but no. "I don't have anyone, but I kinda like..."

"Tellmetellmetellme"

"Myself." Everyone's face dropped in disappointment, especially Erin.

"Awwweeee, Levi you idiot. I thought I was gonna know. You meanie, you tricked everyone." she pouted her mouth.

"I will marry myself if I just can,"

"You creepy narcissist, disgusting" Armin told me.

That night, I slept in my bed thinking everything will be fine. Until I dreamed of that.  
~~~~~~  
He pointed a gun at me.

"Maybe he'll see the light if I take him there, but if that happens you'll never be here and you'll never be able to see it you bastard," he said. I don't know who he is. He is just an agent wearing suit and tie pointing a gun at my temple.

"Kill me, if you can." I bent my knees and slide my foot and tripped him, he smacked to the floor and I caught the gun with my hands. I shot him dead.

"I will see him seeing that light," I kicked his head. I ran all over the abandoned building, calling his name, whatever it is. He was asleep at the chair. As I thought. But he was dead with his eyes opened and I was crying. I couldn't feel his warmth anymore. They've set me up. Hundreds of souls are surrounding me and all I have was a 45 caliber gun with 4 remaining bullets.

One shoot me down and he whispered something before I died. "He said he's always loved you but he knows you won't like him back, how pitiful."

How pitiful indeed. I've always loved him.  
~~~~~~~  
".....vi, Levi," I opened my eyes and was awakened by Petra.

"Having a nightmare?"

"What? No."

"Why are you crying then?" Huh? I touched my cheeks and she was right. I was crying.

"Don't mind it, maybe it's the effect of my daily medication."

"Sure you're okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I am fine."  
~~~~~~~  
What the heck is going on Hanji.

We are the only ones left. Me and Erin. We are left by the whole squad. All they left with us is a note.

"We are going to trek, since both of you suck at this, don't come with us."

"The fuck Hanji, I'll kill you when you get back." I said. My hair is still wet from taking a bath early this morning. When I got in the tub, everyone was having breakfast and Erin was still asleep. The time I got out, they're gone.

"Well, I'm hungry" Erin rubbed her tummy and yawned. She was in her pajamas.

"Then eat, they could've left something for breakfast,"

Erin shook her head, "No they didn't,"

"And what makes you so sure?"

"I already checked it,"

"You've gotta be kidding me," I rushed in the kitchen and began the search for food. And she was right. "Shit, I'm hungry too."

"Go the table ready," Erin wore and apron and tied her hair up. "I'm cooking, but help me"  
~~~~  
"The hell's wrong with your hands, you're doing it wrong." She went with her spatula to me and poked my head with her hand. "That's not how you break an egg,"

"Ugh, so troublesome, it will break anyways so why bother breaking it the right way," I groaned. I was holding the egg upside down and was cracking the bottom of it. I just...don't know how to crack it. I've never broken an egg before.

"Oh Levi. You are so helpless. That's not how you break an egg, okay?" She got another egg on her hand and faced me. She got another bowl for herself. "First, crack it in the middle like this, then hold both sides and slowly open it like this," she finally glanced at me " understand?"

"I'm not an idiot of course I understand, just cook already."

"Fine boss,"

I walk into the dining room but I stopped myself. I forgot to tell her. "Don't dare to tell everyone I'm terrible at cooking." she chuckled and responded with a nod.  
What a wonderful sight.


End file.
